Rabbit holes in Mind Control to the hidden baby breeding of a successful British singing Artist




To explain the next aspect I need to go back again to 1996,

I set up a weight training service for crack users in a day care service. That was primarily for crack users. A woman came in very hyper, restless energy. In a team meeting following the session the workers went through feedback on each of the clients for the day. They told me this woman was not on crack , but everything about her energy said she was ; I have worked with about 2000 crack users ,it’s my specialist area therefore  I informed then ‘No, I believed she was using don’t care what she says’.
She attended regularly, she was bubbly and eager to work hard, and she was also a professional singer and had just finished 2 world tours of her single that had made the top 20.

On learning that I was a lesbian she preceded to tell me how she was curious, and how she would like to go to a club etc.  I found her very attractive but she was a client and I could also see she needed some sort of help, therapy. I therefore gave her a flyer for a club I thought she may enjoy.

I soon stopped teaching weights so gave her my office number told her to call if she wanted to come for counselling. She never came.
Time past and I left my employment to set up my own service. Shortly after my spine collapsed and I spent 9 months laterally thinking trying to heal myself until I eventually had surgery on the 4th November 98.
The surgery was successful and I returned to running my service for women crack users. I was successfully training all over Britain; then in November 99 a client called my office and the young girl working there took the call and informed me a woman had called asking for me and that she had arranged her an appointment. When she arrived I discovered she was the previous woman whom I had trained in weights. She was so pleased to see me. She knew me as Lou; most people do. Thus when she had been told there was a Louise Clarke who ran a service, she didn’t know it was me.

I will add to this that she was told ‘yes I had a service but wouldn’t be able to help her’.  This was told to her by a member of staff that I had previously trained in my prior employment; and when I worked there I was considered the best in the field, I pioneered the first service in Britain for women crack users. I will say no more here on that matter but want you to know that she said she was told by that service that ‘no one here can help you’ and that they shut the door in her face.

She had asked them about Louise Clarke (her barrister had found my service for her) but they never told her I was the woman she previously knew. They just told her I couldn’t help her.

She told me how social services had her baby (born one day before my surgery) and she wanted her back, now 1 year old. This whole case I have written on elsewhere,

I learnt that she had been using crack for the previous 2 years but was not using at the time I met her in 1996, but I learnt that the manic energy she was giving off was not drug related for it continued after she ceased using drugs.

Her case didn’t make much sense at all, professionals were not behaving profession, her recalling of her history was broken into pieces
there was no flow. She was like a lottery ball container throwing out pieces seemingly random, which joined together over time as whole
jig-saw puzzles.

I asked her to request her old files, and after some delay she received them.

Easter arrived in 2000 and I heard my favourite friend had died Good Friday; she was a top body builder whom I sometimes used to train with until my spine collapsed. Along the road from my service was a restaurant and as we passed (me and the client) one day I saw my old boss eating there, so I went in as he was friends with the body builder too. I asked him where she was buried. On leaving the restaurant my client informed me she recognised him......’oh is it!’ I asked why didn’t you tell me that before, how do you know him?’ She said she thought he counselled her. Which I found very interesting because he always passed women clients on to me, and also rarely counselled anyone

As said earlier the attraction between us was previously there and in truth remained.  In a professional sense if one feels strong attraction to a client the ethics are to pass the client to someone else. This was not an option for me; as service providers insist users attend services in their own borough and in that borough only one other service existed , that which I had previously worked for and had told her ‘No one can help you here’.

.I therefore continued working with her and in truth this mutual attraction we both put to one side and focused on the fight to regain custody of the child for it held greater importance.

We worked very tight with only one goal in mind, until the revelation that the child displayed physical signs of  being sexually abused and needing medical treatment yet police and social services were behaving very unethical not providing an examination for  the child.
 Because they had the care order the mother had no parental rights to object to their lack of concerns and delay. Nor was she legally allowed to attend the eventual ‘examination’ carried out. 

An emergency court hearing was called by the guardian adlitum saying the mother was trying to sabotage case by claiming child being 
abused. The mothers lawyer was suggesting I don’t write anymore court reports, so I didn’t I just gave support.

This was after a 2 year struggle against every obstruction social services had put in the way of considering returning the child. At this point 
the mother looked like death; grey skin colour and I suppose it was also too much for me consequently my spine collapsed. The mother 
needed support and I couldn’t walk.

Professionalism was being shown to have gone out of the window. The child was still in their ‘care’ and money was being pulled from people attending my training. My phones were intercepted and interfered with. I think I had so many folk tapping my phone the echo made it hard to hear a caller. It seemed like I was the only one following the ethical guidelines.
So I said come to my house to discuss matters re case, this she did. My back stayed weak and because the mother looked so grey I offered she could stay over at my house. She was very pleased of this offer but within a day or 2 she fell asleep on my bed .hmmmmm oh dear!
Sell la vi


The next morning her one year old son who has known me since in the womb awoke and saw us wrapped up together, sat up and clapped with joy. And that was me out of the professional arena. I wasn’t able to work physically and due to untold interference on phones between me and my clients I had to wind down my service.

My first priority was for to support her with the case- we both made that paramount.

The child was returned with her multiple issues, the mother cut off from her family for they were demonstrating unsupportive behaviour whilst saying they supported her.

After the final court hearing a few months later she got the death threats and other wrong doings were brought to our view, along with the gangs stalking and statutory harassment




Then my birthday arrived along with a letter from my housing 
association saying my home was overcrowded and I must tell them to go or face eviction. I choose to let them stay and face court, and then I could explain to judge my concerns. They never brought it to court, but money arrived in her bank account, enough to pay deposit for a house, so we moved

She practiced daily, under extreme duress from neighbours, and local authorities, even children were sent I believe programmed to harass by throwing stones and abuse. 

After threats of ASBO’s and the removal of musical equipment, the authorities eventually backed off. We moved house, again 2007 to a multi cultural area, equipped with experience now on how to handle neighbours and with understanding of game played in gang stalking realms, to target victim from every angle. So when the first neighbour came round knocking to say too loud , his son is a student and needs to study, I replied ok , what time do you suggest is ok, for her to sing, because that is her profession , so she needs to practice . He suggested 11am, so it was agreed 11am was fine; start singing. 


                                                      For more details see link

It was a year prior to this in 2006 – that she started deprogramming from mind control, and started realising other musicians were MC’s too. Recognising signs, eye movements, see switching alters, triggering going on in many reality TV shows.

People used to say ‘oh why don’t you go on X factor? ‘ At first she said no, I am professional, but after seeing Alexandra Burke win,2008 she said ok so they let black people win, so she entered. Everyone we knew said ‘oh she gonna win’. She said no but I should get somewhere, then I can get contract through exposure of my being available.


The auditions was held in May 2009, we all queued for hours and sat in the O2 arena for several more, eventually I took the children home, to eat and said we will come back, I think she waited 14 hours to audition (normal) eventually they called her number, at the start the number means nothing, because you are given them as you arrive in a random queue.

In the booth was a Sony executive –she started to sing he closed his eyes to listen, she closed hers too. to give her best , she finished ,opened her  eyes and he opened his , with a smile ,( like he could hear ka-ching) ,said your through , asked her name, which she said , then he handed her the golden ticket meanwhile asking her to spell it . But excitement took over her and she ran screaming from the booth with her ticket. She then had to queue to register so as to go through to the next round she would be told when and where to go, and need 2 songs ready verse and chorus

Away she went and practiced practiced practiced some more to perfection.

By the way her sister was a professional singer to, but got nowhere in X factor, she tried to discourage her from trying, saying they dig up the family, don’t do it. But on hearing she was through, actually said she had tried too, the previous year before and didn’t get through. Yet she has very similar vocal tones, just not as large range.
The second auditions were held, 2 songs prepared. ‘My baby just cares for me’, Nina Simone ; of which she removed the long instrumental part , so as to shorten the song, which is a skill music executive would recognise, she also prepared ‘just like a pill’, by Pink to demonstrate diversity.

On entering the building again a long queue, she gave in her form and they found her NAME and number. We all waited again, after a few hours they called her number. The rules for day was audition ;in front of three new judges ;again Sony executives, and if they give 2 yes’s or more your through to the next set of judges that you would audition in front of later that day; where you would need 2 songs.
She sang her first song but as she started the main judge looked at her in disgust; it was so uncomfortable that she had to keep closing her eyes so as not to see her looking at her with such dislike.

When she had finished. The main judge said ‘No’ then the others said ‘No’. The rules are if you have a maybe, then you can go to the’ pod ‘, but she got 3 No’s! She responded ‘what?’ she couldn’t believe what they were saying, and they laughed, then the main judge said ‘try again next year’. This had now triggered ’shock ‘.  She stumbled out of the room, in shock and we went home. For those that understand MK world know this was triggered program. 

She couldn’t face telling anyone, but I said no this is NOT your shame, this is theirs, so I want to film you doing the same audition and show the world how they carry on; let the world judge them, so the next day we filmed the audition (verse and chorus) and placed on YOUTUBE, with help from a friend cos computers are not my thing.

The X factor audition 

Deprogramming continued as usual. All sorts of memories were surfacing from different alters and times throughout her life.
Through deprogramming she remembered being raised for some of her earlier year in St Lucia. She remembered going up a hill from her ‘grandmothers’ and her ‘mother’ took her to see this little girl, whom she felt a very strong bond with to such an extent that her ‘mother’ said she couldn’t go anymore to see her. At this point she was 18 years old. The child was around 18 months old. She asked her mother what her name was and was told ‘Clara’. Now deprogramming was showing us how to find out things and many times clues are given via sarcasm,

I said I would try and find this Clara on the internet, see if I could get the birth records on line, it was like finding a needle in a hay stack but I would give it a try.

The weak aspect of all this is that the wrong doers are so over confident; as this has gone on for generations and is protected from every aspect of disclosure so they seem to use sarcasm around hidden matters, by saying things that amongst themselves; those in the know, is a sick joke, but to outsiders it all looks caring and reversed. Like the ‘sacrifice of care’, at Bohemian grove.
Anyway I decided to search using an eliminating process. It was August 2009 and the internet wasn’t as flooded as it is now. I therefore started by searching MySpace for a Clara’s in St Lucia, nothing came of it.  So I decided I needed someone to speak with there, to ask re birth record access. I needed someone bold, so I searched for lesbians in St Lucia as I felt if they were bold enough to be out on line, as gay then they were bold. I found 9, the next day 8. Amongst the 8 one had the same last syllable to my partner’s family’s last syllable of their name. I had previously recognised that the family’s last name is used in different variations; there is much play with similar sounds and names.


I friend requested her for my partner and she was accepted. But MySpace was becoming out of fashion and was being replaced by face book. I therefore also requested friendship of the same woman on face book. She accepted. My partner and I looked through her friend list together for clues and the daughter ‘Clara’; we came across a guy with a profile photo in black and white

In the same format as used of the mother on a Cd cover.


It was so similar in facial expression and they looked so alike, that she instantly said ‘Who’s that?’ friend requesting he accepted and therefore we could view his profile. She communicated to him that she believed she was his mother and then recovered memory of giving birth to him.

Another aspect of this son we had found was he had a last name which was that of a previous boyfriend she had had years before, in her late teens, but this child she would have conceived at age 14 years old. She was not with the father then and this was another country. But in some of his other photos she said he was the image of her ex. So she felt she knew who the father was.

After a short period of time I found a video within his video uploads of a young woman whom was singing. On playing the video it became obvious she was very likely her daughter, her vocal tones were recognisably similar as she spoke, she had a different accent but the tones were the same.

Also her facial expressions whilst singing were very similar, regarding looks some features were the same, others the mother could recognise who the features belonged to within her ‘family’; she therefore also friend requested her. And was accepted. She was a singer too, and wanted to come to England to study. At the time my partnered offered money to bring her here, but she was on tour at that point, so couldn’t come yet.

I recognised that If we could prove she was her daughter in a DNA test she could live and study here, but also due to previous obstructions experienced by the system and dismissal of my regular urine test I experienced with the revoking care order case, I felt it would be wiser to approach another recognised professional to carry out the test. But who?

Up until September 2009 I couldn’t find any evidence that trauma based mind control was happening in Britain; all my info I was gaining was from USA, but through chance I found a conference was to be held in Sept.

I attended and gained much insight into how things were in Britain. It was attended by many therapists, counsellors and survivors who were also familiar with mind control. Wow I wasn’t alone anymore. Various speakers gave their accounts and treatment options along with discussion groups. I was still reluctant to trust all those there but gained awareness that the best way to survive is to speak out.

 One of the leading British psychoanalyst and psychotherapist in working with this group helped to organise this conference and also spoke there, Dr Valerie Sinason she seemed very aware and cared for this topic to be recognised, she run The Clinic for Dissociative Studies and through much deliberation we decided to approach her to do the tests. She was funded by the Health Authorities to run her service. She recognised the issue of concern regarding disclosing such matters.

I was speedily given an appointment to meet with her and I took with me photos of the children e.g., the CD cover and son’s photo, plus amongst her daughters photos I found this,



Again another photo that was very similar to that of the mother taken by a teacher at school. Age 16;

for reasons of privacy I have temporarily removed the image of the young girl that has a very simular pose

It also strikes me as an inappropriate pose for a 16 year old, that a school teacher took along with many others, and although she recalls asking repeatedly for the other photos he never gave her them, only this Polaroid tester. Additionally I add here she was pregnant carrying this daughter in the photo. Sarcasm again.

I explain thoroughly much of what had been deprogrammed out, and expressed the need for the DNA test to enable her daughter to come over and live with her.

The therapist remarked on how I was a heroine and she was the luckiest woman alive. She informed me she knew people whom could advise on the DNA test and told me of the pitfalls of web sites becoming limited when request for more detailed info was sort by herself. She said she would talk to one of her contacts and the call me soon regarding tests. I went to her 1st December 2008, Christmas passed and January came but we never heard anything.  Meanwhile we discovered more children and one that was extremely mind blowing. She came to realise a child she had baby sat was actually her own child. Again with the same father as the first son we found. Again this child would have been conceived before she had knowingly started a relationship with their father.
It was too much for her , memory was erupting, and their father whom she remembered as a very fair guy, and reflecting did try to teach her the underlying issues in mind control,  like he was somewhat awake to it. He was she claims killed by the police, although it may be reported differently. It is defiantly written that he was brutally beaten in police custody. I need to check though on the reported cause of death.
She also had memory of having a boy, whom would be most likely this son. She recalled being allowed somewhat to raise him in St Lucia but then told it wasn’t working out, the person she was (alter) at that moment was military trained, and so furry rose in her and her thoughts were to get a machine gun and kill them all. He was on her lap at the time, so she believed he would have picked up this energy, when we found him on face book he had disguised his face, she felt he was a serious guy now, and this early life experience for him was most likely contributing to his attitude towards life. She felt she wasn’t ready to approach him yet with what she now believed; she needed to be stronger as he was also living in England. This whole matter was too much, so we stopped looking for more children, and it seems to me now that the military alter was becoming stronger and more dominant. I’m not sure yet as to how many ‘military ‘alters there are, nor whether they are the same ones, but a military alter was nurturing the son and a military alter also told her she had given birth to 2 babies, one at age 10 and one at 11.

2009 came and still no word no word from Dr Valerie Sinason, so I called her office and was told ‘NO, that there was no such arrangement to call me back’. I left my number.

I recognised this conduct from professionals backing out after agreeing to help before, therefore I decided to write to her explaining I understand her evasive behaviour but wished for no bad feelings between us, in the event of another conference being held I would not want discomfort felt by either of us.  I hand delivered my letter through the letter box one Sunday afternoon and promptly received a letter of response saying it had gone from her ‘memory’, she included the names of 2 web sites I could go to for DNA tests. So that was that, what a waste of time but we had to try.

Meanwhile the daughter was asking to come over as soon as, but through the deprogramming revelation of the British son the mother was finding it too hard to cope with more than she had already revealed, and she wanted to be fully deprogrammed before her daughter came, for she recognised they had very similar characteristics, one being they were very determined and have to have their own way.

Another aspect of life was the entering of the x factor, we believed demonstrated that this route wasn’t a fair route back into the music industry. At Christmas we heard the song ‘uprising ‘by Muse, and we were all inspired to learn it.

It was very good in that it expressed some of what was going on, in a song form. It also gave her the opportunity to demonstrate to potential record companies her vocal range; 5 octaves, she worked hard on making the song hers; adding her own style to it.

We filmed it and put it on YouTube for Easter 2010. And sent it out to many of her children.

'Uprising'

There were other aspects of our life rocking the boat but I will cover them at a later date....Thank you for reading so far.....The truth will set us free

Because we home educated we were free to structure our life in a fluid way. We all enjoyed nature and days at the sea-side, we had also found that walking on earth was very grounding and created harmony in every one of us.

At the sea peace was also experienced. I built the children’s education around this. They wrote, read did their maths on the journey and once we arrived their minds were expanded by the sheer awesomeness of nature and we always searched for new places to go.

One day we went to my favourite sea side place of past, we walked along the beach onto the next town. Here a whole new world opened up. My partner suddenly remembered that she was brought there as a child, family outing. Here memory was vague but was worth exploring, we walked all around the area to see if anything could trigger memories and they did. A building, the pier all started to bring forward feelings, flash backs. So she sat and wrote up the memory, which inevitably brought more clarity and additional information.
She remembered a horrific traumatic experience inside a hotel, she was only 9 years old and the perpetrators were white men, their energy she sensed from them she perceives as that of police.
In the day she remembers visiting the pier amusement arcade at night the horrific in-human atrocities took place.

We consequently explored where else she may have gone, and she recalled another sea-side place. So this was added to our days out at the sea –side. It was a long journey to and from but we visited the sea side about once a week. Then other days of the week she could explore her memory fragments gained on each visit.
It was at the second sea side on exploring the area for triggers, we came across a deserted space that she felt and recalled again horrific experiences happening there. It was next to the sea. She remembered after the trauma had finished being carried lifeless down to the sea and placed in it.


It was here we discovered by standing in the sea at the place of occurrence she could recall memory much easier. So from then on she used the sea to aid memory recall and even found to place her feet her feet in water at home whilst deprogramming (writing down memory) benefited.

We therefore went back to the first sea –side site of trauma to find the possible spot of sea she was placed in; and found it.
To give you an idea of how hard and time consuming this process is I will tell you here we started this sea side deprogramming in 2008 and did throughout the end of summer and then started again in summer 2009 and did throughout ;sometimes going twice a week.
It was late 2008, we also was in adventure mode driving towards the coast; with no fixed destination. I asked where shall we go? , we were unsure, then due to a sign posts of various sea side towns , I suggested one from the list , on saying the place name, she again was triggered a recall of again going there as a child for family outing.
So off we went. There she recalled memories from different ages, some with family some with what she feels/senses were C.I.A.

More places came to memory, some too far away to drive to, some in other countries. I found a way around this by searching the places on YouTube and viewing video also memories can be triggered.

When she prepared for X factor she invested in a camcorder to observe herself, we therefore used it to film places we visited for memory recall.
The 3 video’s placed on here I recently made with a cheap phone camera , as there are reasons I will soon get to as why I no longer have the previous video recordings.

Also summer 2009 she took our youngest child to karate, the teacher offered that she could take part in lesson, so she did.
She remembered doing karate as a child but stopped going, she believed it was because she had hurt the teacher’s son badly, and the teacher was a police officer. Hr memory of that time was vague.

She found the karate very useful for exercise and releasing stress but in the lessons she would get in a muddle and this was confusing the teachers and her. They questioned did she really want to do it. She knew yes she did .but although she tried her hardest it somehow became muddled. This we felt indicated there was some reason behind it, and so she proceeded to attempt to deprogram it out. Which she did. 

In doing so one day on returning from a sea side; at the end of the summer 2009; she kept getting flashbacks of repeatedly practising a round house kick, on top of a hill. In this visual memory she could see she was wearing black rebook boots and bare feet and black Lycra leggings.

So we ended our journey by going via the sport shop to buy a pair. On picking up the boot she felt strong senses,

Ironically as part of the children’s education I would let them choose songs to learn, perform which they enjoyed. That same day they had asked to learn Rhiana‘s ‘run this town’. Before they learnt any song I would check it out for lyrics and down load them, but on observation of the video on YouTube not only did I saw it was lyrically inappropriate for them to learn
but also at about 1.00 subliminal's of someone’s leg wearing black trainer/boots is running across the screen; as she sings ‘who’s gonna RUN ‘


I have also since seen Cheryl Cole wearing in video
‘Fight for this love’.


and some 


This also led me to study the Bourne films to see what he was wearing and it does appear he wears black trainer/boots but interesting also he changes footwear; even when filmed in say one chase....hmmm why?

(I need to go study these aspects, be back soon) 

I looked for examples of him in boots but they are fast glimpses, but a clear sighting can be seen in the beginning of the film when he is running along a beach in Goa. When he fights in the films he tends to be wearing black/trainer boots.

As I have said elsewhere on another blog she experienced years of gang stalking after her daughter (the whole case available in other blogs) was returned , this we learnt to utilise and each antic used we found to be a trigger and so used them to access memories. In time these types of street theatre antics stopped but on her attending karate they started again; at classes. A couple of men there would use triggers; some would trigger anger and maybe the muddling. She felt elsewhere someone didn’t want her to attend and also she was experiencing co-consciousness with a sabotage alter; that was trying to stop her attending. The sabotage was trying to protect her and didn’t want her to go past red belt. But she was gaining so much insight into her past, via deprogramming what karate was bringing to surface, so she continued with a steal determination. The guys triggering her did anger her but made her more determined.

When it came to red belt grading she knew it all and was determined to grade. She graded yes but sabotage alter had hooked her finger in her ghee whist performing the kata, which tore the ligament and caused swelling and pain.

Although she wrapped her hand to aid its healing, it wouldn’t heal, staying swollen and painful. To begin with she was patient and took a couple of weeks off attending karate, but it wasn’t changing, indicating there were other reasons for this. We had learnt in the past some physical illness, pains were like doorways into hidden memory; erupting to be noticed. So she started to attempt to deprogram anything behind the hand swelling/pain. And recalled being in St Lucia, in some sort of military place. Next to her was a military personnel and her ‘father’; telling her she had over done it when asked to hurt some guy and so needed punishment. In reflection now she didn’t believe she had done wrong for she has learnt via deprogramming that she wouldn’t have made a mistake; it wasn’t allowed. But in programming they seem to play at twisting the mind. As punishment she was ordered to punch the wall and break the bones in her hand. She did as ordered and they made her do it again. Then with her hand smashed she recalled lying on the floor with her swollen hand in a bowel of large cockroaches and that she couldn’t move.

She described the wall as very old and I searched on line (2009) for military bases in St Lucia via Google earth to no avail but then came across an old postage stamp of a fort there. It was a picture of a military fort, like an old ruin wall, she said it looked like the wall in her memory. I looked today for it but the link is no longer there, but there are photos of forts in St Lucia that have similar walls.

Future into deprogramming her rebok boots memories she came to see sometimes she was wearing a black duppy cloth on her head. So again purchased one to see the effects...whoah!!!! She felt more focused, stronger so started wearing to karate. The teachers changed from questioning her wish to learn to liking her growing stance of determination demonstrated.

Although she felt one teacher didn’t like her wearing it, but she did because the guys stopped trying to trigger her when wearing and she felt strong in it and didn’t get muddled at all.

Wearing the duppy seemed to bring forward the alter that wore one, so again co-conscious in class she would often find herself standing in a military stance only to be corrected by the teacher to stand in karate stance, on doing so she would find herself saying ‘yes sir’ but didn’t mean for herself to behave as so or say these things.

After gaining the red belt she also found sometimes when she pushed someone in class she surprised herself and all by her own strength as the hurtled backwards through the doors .the teachers she said looked concerned like they knew why she was becoming super strong. She therefore tried more to do lessons without duppy on but if she removed it the guys would try triggering her again, it was like the duppy held them at bay.

She learnt more via memory of being in military school and so went on to buy army boots. Started watching many karate videos and the alter started to insist on a very low fat diet and increased the focus on running daily ;which she had already been doing for a year each morning, rain or shine. 

With the running she found if she went into a trance like state she would find herself running really fast at a constant rate. I later read about the ‘yellow brick road’ programming in Kathleen  Sullivan’s book ‘Unshackled ‘. you can obtain free download on line but due to me being in a library at present I am prevented from getting the link address, when I have use of my computer again I with adapt this link;until click on the image as I have put it with the amazon link

These super athletic abilities also included that sometimes when she kicked, her leg would go much higher than normal. It started to make some aspect of her childhood make sense like she was really good at fencing at school and once in doing long jump she said she had broken a world record, but the teacher became very uncomfortable and denied the distance she had just jumped; she couldn’t understand why he behaved so.

She had been placed in dance school aged 4 and was punished in school for wearing out the varnish on the hall floor through practicing her tap dancing too much.

Although she ran every morning her stomach grew larger as we found each child, saying this, the initial swelling of her stomach; looking like a pregnancy that started her looking into previous births hidden from her memory.

Going back to finding the babies matter, after finding the first son ;amongst the friends of the initial face book/MySpace St Lucian contact, she also saw a young man who she said looked just like the father of the first son found; her ex-boyfriend in England. So she friend requested him also and told him she felt she knew who his father may be and also she may be his mother as she had memory of raising a baby for a short while there in St Lucia. I will add another connecting fact here was she has 2 last names one in England and it seems one in St Lucia .his last name was the same as her St Lucian one.



And so did the first son found He loved gospel music and she practiced singing gospel daily to keep her vocal cords strong; therefore had a range of songs that she had added her own touch too over the years, we decided to video record them and put them on YouTube to share with them and the world. Here they are:-

You can't hurry my Lord

He calmed the ocean my Lord 

Joshua fit the battle


I want my crown

up above my head




This also was a way to demonstrate to the music industry her current vocal range. 

Peace in the Valley


She had recovered programming done to her to stop her making any more recordings so it also served to counteract that.It was/is enjoyed by the public but also seemed to bring many old music contacts out of the wood work. starting with one of her previous producers and then her old manager conveniently crossed her path whilst out shopping but to no avail, this was followed by contact from her past going back up to 20 years and also new producers constantly coming forwards from all around the world wanting her to re-record a previous song produced by the above touring team.

Most of what I have written so far here happened in the last few months of 2009. it was extremely hard facing shocking revelations of truth ,each day ,that most of the world doesn’t know exist and when we tried to explain to others they found it very hard to comprehend and consequently believe. Thus it serves one to isolate and not express ones reality. At the end of 2008 I had recognised my eyesight had deteriorated and it was hard for me to read and concentrate, I visited an optician whom tested my eyes us in doing so I expressed I could see better with one eye than two. She wrote a letter for me to give to my GP for to refer me to an eye specialist. I therefore had to first get a GP which seemed to be a difficulty but after asking many surgery’s obtained one to give letter to for him to refer me. I was seen by an eye specialist who said I had thyroid eye disease, but didn’t know whether to treat thyroid needed to monitor thyroid levels first. Long story but one year later again December 2009 I was examined properly by an eye specialist ,by this time my eye sight was bad, I was experiencing double vision when tired, so by evening I couldn’t lay down to watch TV or DVD, or read . The endocrinologist I was seeing via my thyroid chose not to treat just monitor. When I saw the eye specialist after my sight tests he was very rude to me, asked me if I smoked, I replied yes, at which point he didn’t bother to continue my eye examination via optical machine but instead told me you need to stop as this illness is very bad and in time you won’t be able to see where you are going. The treatment is radio therapy and surgery on the eye lids. He then said good bye see you in one year’s time. I came out of the hospital in shock.all this drama was going on and therefore balance was needed within our home, yet my eyes were deteriating and i needed to stop smoking. I went home and told my partner; she said the lord would not let me go blind; he wouldn’t do that to me. But she couldn’t handle my mood swings if I stopped smoking.
I looked up the disease on the internet and it was awful, my eyes were already protruding and sometimes were very puffy, and ached, due to tightening occurring around my optic nerve. The treatments were equally scary. I couldn’t face anymore so I stopped looking at illness. Until 2010 when it became so bad I had to face it and therefore went looking again but this time for alternative remedies. I found a book by an American woman with a similar attitude and she had cured her thyroid eye disease with a selection of approaches. A friend also discovered herbal tobacco that doesn’t taste so disgusting. And these two factors helped to relieve symptoms. I used flax seed oil which put fatty acid back into my muscle around my eyes reversing the protruding and reducing the pain. I used cold calamine tea soaked cloths to reduce the puffiness and only the double vision remained.


Sounds

Over time I also became aware that the sound of names was important, I don’t know why, maybe for vibrational values. Often the last names were spelt slightly different, amongst relatives and also some of the names given to the mother’s children were similar sounding phonetically. With the mother name she; it seemed - that different variations on the sound of the phonetic in her name related to different alters. Whilst searching for her children I used this knowledge to look for people with similar sounding names and ones of which I found was a guy in Africa. He ignored her messages but following on from this find in December 2009 the phone rang and I answered it. It was the education officer, (the ‘Authority’s monitoring officer’) but speaking in a completely different voice. Usually she spoke soppily to the children, like trust me in soft tones, (a triggering tool often used by handlers) but here on the phone she was using white middle-class, official /sales rep tone. She asked ‘is that ___________,’ (saying the partners name but pronouncing as one would say the African guy’s name that I found). I responded ‘No! Who is calling? ‘ . I  knew it was her ( I have excellent hearing for tones ) and she had never called our phone before; we never gave our number to anyone. We would always say when asked ‘we can’t be contacted by phone’. Thus it is worth looking at how did this situation occur?
I have checked my files and here is what I discovered.  


It is worth sharing for it gives some insight into how subtly games are played, planned and practised.
So through this play (which she had previously tried before but had failed) she now had the number. The mother had actually called her, due to this letter. Does it look like it was written on a door step?

I would like to add we had never received an appointment that she had wrote of. My Partner had let her guard down. And responded by calling and got an answering machine. Baam !

So she ‘assumed’ the phone was ours; although i did give her opportunity to clareify that with me when she phoned by asking who’s calling, but she refrained from doing so.

She said it didn’t matter if I was not her and ended the call.


I hadn’t heard her speak in those tones before but could here it sounded like the education inspector so told my partner, what had occurred. She was with me at the time of the call.

 This was around 4.30pm and later that day we were driving and at around 7.30 pm, she called again. This time my partner answered the call. the education inspector asked is that ________ ; asking her first name but again as with the pronounciation that one would say pronouncing the African guys name , so she said yes, but then the woman seemed to ingnore that and said the name again, paused then said the name again followed by her last name. Each time my partner said yes but was aware this was occurring and that this was an attempt to trigger her. The woman then said who she was and asked to come for a home visit after Christmas. A date was arranged.

The children were another matter, I educated them very fluidly and they studied what they enjoyed to learn, but sometimes the girl; whom had been returned from care programmed was not easy to work with, she could be extremely stubborn and awkward, deliberately not co-operating; sometimes held in negative states with stuck anger. We found that if she did some physical activity this would change and she could release her emotions and become positive, but some times she would become so stubborn that the stubbornness would mean she didn’t do the physical activity, like she wanted to hold onto the psychological state. Here if I could I would try to shift her mood by playing bangra music, this music seemed to be hard for her to resist enjoying (her father is Indian descent).

During these struggling last months of 2009 she had been in a stubborn, negative, stuck state quite a lot and was triggering her mother with certain looks. I explained to her the stressfulness of the time we were in, but she continued to stay the same and in that state she also would try and devide and rule those around her. She would be good for me, and switch for her mother to trigger mode. I tried to explain this was not good for us all as a family team, but she continued throughout Christmas, we tolerated her mood alot but she refused to enjoy. The education officer was due and she wouldn’t do any work when in this mode, so I created a new approach, we just did arts and craft and I explained its educational uses on the education visit.

Here is our paintings we did after Christmas of the back garden.


Mine Adult



 The Boy's age 9


 The Girl's age 11



At the visit; as always she was a perfect child.

It was always reported that the children were well educated. Here are examples of reports.



I have now took the decision to write to those in power.

 (I wrote this blog originally in parts and am currently still to finish it, this is a blog I wrote to the Black Freemasons to try to address an issue I had regarding what I wrote further).


The gang stalking had returned in the local shops in those later months of 2009 and  so we were avoiding using them and shopped elsewhere .My partner felt that she had been boxed in and so decided to travel further on her own by public transport to go shopping in central London; she hadn’t done this in years.

It was a day out for her; she wanted to be more independent, so she started getting buses.
Also all the trauma was resulting in my partner needing time alone, to process the emotions.

A problem was developing in our relationship; and my partner seemed to be miss reading me. She had known me for 10 years and therefore, knew my ways very well. I am very real, honest and not a game player  and pretty much a consistent person ,but she started to miss read me ,saying I’m jealous , playing games and related to me like I was the opposite of who I am. For me this was painful. she would follow on from these accusation later saying she is sorry , she doesn’t mean to say these things and that she knows really  I’m the best, she doesn’t want me to change , but she doesn’t know what’s going on and to take no notice of her when she is like this, she loves me and I’m perfect.’

She had very little time for us as a couple and in those times the mistrusting alter didn’t want her near me and therefore she would experience discomfort in her solar plexus if she stayed in my space.


The switching was a constant battle for her. But often it was very difficult for her to be with me.
Consequently it was a very emotional time for me too, I felt loss and disheartened, I couldn’t see a solution and wrote these poems out of despair really.


My birthday came and on my face book she wrote ‘’’ Happy Birthday to my darling wife, another year of pleasures for us. 
Wishing you a very special day you know your family adore you, you are the best and life with you means counting our 
blessing every day, shock out your foot and enjoy! Love wifey. x x x.

We always had small parties as a family on Birthdays but due to sugar having a negative effect on the Childs behaviour and somehow being
involved in strengthening the sabotage. My partner insisted no sweets at my birthday party.
It seemed very turbulent times moods changing constantly. Valentine’s Day came but somehow the mistrusting alter was taking over and so 
no celebrations occurred.It was becoming very painful for me to be on the receiving end of this negative perception of me.


My partner continued to reassure me when she could that it wasn’t anything to do with me and to take no notice. She was still working hard deprogramming memories and now was able to communicate with the alters inside her that had been created in the past and ask them details about herself and experiences.

The same was for art , she believed she was lacking the skill, but her military alter told her she was very good at art, which made sense ,as the children were good at art, albeit her daughter had to overcome the work done on her at nursery to stop her drawing.
Musically she recalled playing bugle in the military band and in England always loved double bass and was one of very few female double bass players due to the fact that it is such a large instrument and demands a firm hold on the strings. As a child first learning to play it, it was taller than her, thus she would have to reach up to hold it. Music is her love and escape she was able to play anything, even 2 recorders up her nose. Hahaha.

She knew for some reason she stopped playing double bass but couldn’t remember why.

I drove to the middle of England to collect one we managed to obtain off of eBay. She then deprogrammed out why she stopped and remembered having serious headaches if she played and had to tell the teacher she wouldn’t be playing any more, it broke her heart as this was a strong love she had for playing double bass,  It is common for the handlers to take away /destroy the things you love.

She found her new double bass very de-stressing and healing, so practiced daily along with karate, singing, deprogramming and winding down to comedy.

She had built up good communication with an alter inside her; whom knew lots about her. Initially this alter was very sabotaging, and would nag her to stop singing, but once communication occurred she no longer was in conflict with it. She therefore asked to integrate this knowledgeable one. But the alter said that wasn’t wise as she had many little ones behind her; that she looked after. So before she could be integrated she would need to integrate the little ones.

She agreed to do so and one by one each little one showed their face and told her of their experiences and fears. Some were horrific. Some were shown what would happen to her if she didn’t return to the cult, when required to. she assured them that they were safe now, much of this was a long time ago and some of the people were now old , and that she has grown up and could now protect them.

We had been out walking along the river and as we entered the usually empty path; a white man, big stout belly aged about 65, grey /white receding hair was near and walking towards us. As he passed he said ‘hello’. I responded ‘hello ‘back. But as we walked on she said a younger one had recognised him from somewhere and she was scared.

At a later date my partner told me this man she had learnt was know by military alter, she had been his favourite. No surprise there because she always gives 100%. But usually when she describes military people they are Black. So as this man is white I will assume he came to select his ‘workers’ from the CIA.

She told me also this day how she had a very nasty alter ; I think it was the one behind the first nagging alter with the younger ones. She said she didn’t like her and was scared of her, this new alter had told her she was going to take her back even if it required breaking her neck to do so.

Very soon after she found herself tripping/being hurled out of the post office, falling down in the entrance and her money going everywhere.

Sleep deprivation was also becoming extreme for her, she had sleep problems occur from the time of the Childs return but we found solutions like using ear plugs and eye patches, also she had learnt to just stay still and try to meditate and not get up in the night if awoke but try relax back to sleep. But now it had become even more severe. She did deprogram out being forced to stay awake by the woman she believes to be her true mother in St Lucia. She recalled having pins pushed into her toes every time she would start to fall asleep, and another time there being forced to stay awake for her ‘sisters’ return. Both memories were as a very small child. But also light seemed to be a major issue. She also found the herbs I offer to crack users to calm down helped with sleep, but all these remedies were not stopping the problem anymore. Regarding our relationship difficulties we tried to communicate around it but the alter didn’t want it.

She suggested I have an affair but asked I didn’t let her know. I told her I didn’t want to.

We had to spend a lot of time separate, it seemed the alter was programmed to hate me, we looked back at our first meeting times and I asked her why she didn’t come to me for counselling when I offered back in1996, she said she felt I couldn’t help her, but she knew she liked me and wanted to be with me. This wasn’t normal for my experience, for when people meet me straight away they feel I can help them and never that I can’t. We further explored how she would come weight training just to see me, yet when I left and offered her to come to me for counselling she never did.

Meanwhile I became aware later that her next partner was a client of my building and also other clients their were connected, so I could see how she was prevented from coming there.

When she was in need of help and she went back to the day-care part of the project they told her ‘No one can help you here’ and shut the door in her face.  I asked what was the reaction when she asked a worker about someone called Louise Clarke whom she had been told by her barrister had a service. The key worker told her ‘oh she won’t be able to help you’ and in our conversation she said, he looked uncomfortable with the idea. I had trained this guy along with other staff and they knew I was very good at my job. I said it seemed as though you were programmed to love me and hate me! I realised she had been put with me to hold me down after I set up my service, to continue working in the ways I always had done I refused help with government funding and volunteers , I was selling training and doing fine. see page for an overview on the whole case on gaining custody of her daughter

Then I suffered with my spine (prolapsed disc) and spent 9 months on my bed; then agreed to surgery; which worked out the day after my partner gave birth to the daughter who went into care and resulted in a year later my partner arriving at my service wanting to gain her back and have care order revoked.

t is now in retrospect I can see she had a shattered mind but at the time I had never seen anyone like it; spinning around the place and giving me loads and loads of information without any structure on how things came out, yet all major pieces of a greater puzzle or several puzzles is what I saw.  Due to our forced separation I spent most of my time with the children and in the evening alone. I went on the computer but was no longer looking for children she had given birth too, due to discovering the boy they brought to England. I watched DVD’s on occasions like ‘matrix’ anything that appeared to have information on mind control; I scrutinized and analysed. Sometimes the mother was able to sit with me to watch DVD’s  but rapidly my eyes were deteriorating, I had managed  to stop the pain, and bulging and red lids with puffiness, but my vision when tired became double, therefore it became increasingly difficult to watch DVD’s. When I was tired I was only able to have single vision if I looked straight ahead so I used the computer more for research. I felt extreme loss as my partner was no longer with me in the same way, I tried painting my emotions. I felt very trapped although my spine is unstable somehow dancing heals it. And so I try to include it in my life. I would go to the clubs at weekends alone to dance, my partner never had an issue with it as she knew I was just going to dance and wanted me to go

But one night in March I came out of the club and my eyes were very bad and I struggled to drive home. I knew I couldn’t go out anymore to dance and driving was something I would not be able to do either, I cried alone for this was my outlet, I used to drive the children and sometimes my partner to nature places, sea side , rivers forests, we all enjoyed this but now was stranded in our area. The next day I told her what had happened. She tried to remain positive and said the Lord won’t leave you like that, we will have to go for walks and carry shopping; we will be ok’.

I must admit I didn’t feel positive I felt loss. We walked to the Local Park and river and sometimes I could see well enough to drive early in the day. My vision was fine but as my eyes tired the outer field of vision became double. Coupled with my eyes was the full diagnosis that was I had thyroid eye disease and my thyroid glands became unstable, I had endless energy some times, whilst at other times I became tired with exhaustion and my body would shake with spasms. She had previously told me have an affair and don’t tell her. I had repeatedly said I don’t want one. One day we walked to the supermarket and she was being extremely hard to communicate with around this point in time. Everything I said was somehow misconstrued, miss-read, like she was relating to me like I was some other type of person and not a nice one. Our communication would always result in her miss-understanding whatever I was saying and resulting in us keep dividing. We were trying to communicate as we walked but conflict arose. She something like ‘oh why don’t you just go and have an affair?’ I responded I didn’t want anyone. She did her nut and stormed off back toward our home. She sent the children to come with me. I returned us back home, she became unapproachable. And although I tried to resolve things I couldn’t. When she was able to talk with me she said my saying that was the worst thing I could have said, worse than having an affair and that she couldn’t get past it. Meanwhile because I couldn’t drive often she was getting the bus to karate; which she had been doing anyway to break away from being gang stalked into being boxed in. But she had expressed to the children I was saying I couldn’t drive, because I was trying to stop her going karate. She thought I didn’t want her to go. But that wasn’t true.

Mean while our daughter was becoming very difficult to live with.  And although it is not advisable to push someone to deprogram, it was necessary for us as a family to survive. My partner struggling with her own revelation asked that I try to deprogram our daughter.
I explained to the child the best I could that although it is not for me to push her to deprogram, she needed to because this stubborn, nasty alter she had was taking over and the future wasn’t looking good. She was disrupting the team.
 I worked hard with our daughter to help teach her how to deprogram and how to come to some sort of arrangement with her sabotage alter. It took a lot of patience but started to pay off as she grasped the methods to deprogram. But then my partner in her antagonistic self said I was spending too much time with her so to reduce it. More to be written meanwhile I have done some of the blog on the Childs deprogramming......


she continued to deprogram as fast as she could face each trauma and learnt how she understood many languages. In the past she had remarked how she felt she understood what foreign people were talking about and now she was finding she actually could understand many languages. Like she went to the local shop and in front of her were a polish couple; she found she fully understood the guy was asking the woman in polish were the bags too heavy. She did have memories of being on tour in Bulgaria and her manager throwing her into a room; it was a large room with wooden panelling on the walls. After this event she remembers him trying to get it out of her what went on in the room. Then the next memory was that she was with these 2 white guys, she assumes CIA. She recalls being in some high building on the 10th floor, and that there were high buildings everywhere. She recalls sitting on a chair and one of the guys saying a number code and then she spewed out loads of information, but could not at the time recall what she reports to them. Memories come to her in visual form a bit like a clip from a video; consequently she recognized one of the men to be sat on the interview panel when she applied for her job, which she kept for 12 years in the benefits agency. She also had a memory of translating Japanese. Here she was accompanied by 2 white American guys, she was required to listen to the Japanese guys and translate to the Americans what they were saying, she can see she is wearing black leggings and top and Black rebook trainer boots. But she then sees her hair was messy and this puzzled her, as it was her hair was straightened and normally tied back in a pony tail in this alter. After rewinding time a bit prior to this she sees was wearing a back duppy cloth and then she removed it and this somehow switched her to being able to translate. On this occasion she recalls responding to the Japanese guy speaking that she didn’t think that would be a problem, after they had expressed concerns about there being a problem. The American agents then told her they didn’t ask her to have an opinion and to just translate for them. Come March 2010 we did manage to get a day here and there to the seaside and river but it was extremely hard. Her son we had found in St Lucia was wanting to speak to her but she couldn’t cope with anymore stress and yes it seemed her children were being handled also and used in a way to control her indirectly. Another son she had raised here in England until age 8 was very distant from her and come Mothers day he never acknowledge her. The daughter we found did but the daughter living with us and still a child wrote in her Mother’s day card to Lou and Mummy. She was yet to tell the son we had found had been brought over to England that she was his real mother. It seemed she had given birth every year since aged 10. The son yet to be told father was battered by Police in custody and was a big case in England, He was killed and so every year she visits is grave on his birthday, she didn’t feel strong at all but we all walked to the grave and she planted a rose bush. Father’s day came and she was overjoyed for that day she passed her green belt in karate.

I got new glasses with a tint so the lights in the clubs wouldn’t affect them so much. I was getting very bored so I started searching face book for key words like mind control. And came across a few groups discussing paedophile rings and social services abuse and the Hollie Greig case. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I joined and posted praising and thanking the Lord for the group. Quickly I received a private message from a man whom appeared to live in the same borough as us, and was friends with Margaret Hodge MBE MP; she was the first Minister for Children. He wrote ‘HI LOUISE please don’t bring religion in any aspect of this as it's the main problem for the cover up
TTFN’. I went and told my partner that some guys telling me to shut up. What should I do as I was concerned it wasn’t worth rocking the boat and putting the children at risk. But she said ‘no tell him you won’t shut up until the Lords tells you to. Which I did write via the group.



April arrived and Easter was upon us, she had been working on perfecting her cover of ‘Uprising’ and I had filmed it and uploaded it onto YouTube for Good Friday as she wanted. It was then sent out to all her children and I posted on face book. She was a little concerned as to any reaction she may get for doing such a political song. But wanted to do it anyhow. Here it is...




Easter the energy in the house was she was unapproachable but she was fine with the children; so I headed down to the river alone. The previous evening I had watched some of a DVD on Biggie and Tupac, and came to see the whole package of how things operate. So at the river I sat and drew the visions to enable me to then explain through the picture in words. Here it is...

I returned home and she behaved like I had gone out because I didn’t care for them but it wasn’t true.
Then following this my healer had told me of a solution called M.M.S. that is used to cure many diseases even cancer and HIV , so I ordered some off the net as ‘Thyroid eye disease’ worked in a similar way attacking the immune system.
It arrived and I took some straight away and within one hour my eye sight was perfect. I told my partner and happily we all went out in the car, I could even see the small print on receipts.

One day the mother got up and it seemed out of nowhere, went and took her daughter out for the day with her. This was not something she normally would do; they returned with plants and spent the rest of the day in the garden. I assumed she was trying another way of working with her as the child was behaving so stubborn and obstructive to our functioning as a family. Much of the time she was doing things that she knew would trigger anger in her mother. 

After this she took her out quite a lot, leaving her son behind. He was confused for he hadn’t done anything wrong but he stayed with me. 

Then she started taking them both together out for the day. This was fine as it gave me a break but meant it became increasingly more difficult for me to do their home schooling work with them, I just had to keep adapting. I soon learnt they were being turned against me, for one day she left the boy with me. He was upset because he wanted to go with them and didn’t know what he had done wrong. Her interaction with me was conflicting, no matter what we tried her ‘nasty’ alter didn’t like me and didn’t want resolve. When she returned I asked her what he had done. She said he knew what he had done, he had told her to shut up! I asked could he come out with me as she was in the garden with our daughter. She said yes. On our walk I told him ‘Mummy said you told her to shut up! He explained to me that she had kept saying nasty things about me that were not true and that his sister was agreeing. So he had asked her if they could talk about something else. I explained to him that I could see why he was standing up for me and truth but he couldn’t say these things to her as she was his Mother. On our return he decided to apologies to her and it was accepted. It was a difficult situation but I was proud of his ways he diplomatically dealt with it.

Meanwhile the benefits’ agency was doing their thing and was playing all sorts of games to hold back owed money. She had previously been called in for an interview around January/February, where she was held there for a few hours, I waited outside in the car with the children. The money matter was making us short but we were managing. Along with her alter being irritated by me she would accuse me of being jealous too, which is something I don’t experience and she neither normally. I was communicating with her daughter we found in St Lucia who needed a phone and we had a spare I wanted to send it with some designer jeans we had that were a very slim fit and didn’t fit neither of us. I told her I would send them but she complained it would cost too much, this wasn’t her normal way of addressing thing. I said I would pay then. Later she switched back into her normal self and said no of course send her and that she was sorry, and that she knew I wasn’t jealous and to take no notice.

The first months of that year all my money went on the car e.g. tax, MOT, etc but now with my eyesight perfect again I received double benefit when I went to collect it, there was no clear reason for this but I drew it out and so now had cash. On my return home I noticed on the wall she had a little table chart of her priorities to focus on in life, it wasn’t new but I hadn’t viewed it before. I saw I was 8th in her priority list; this filled me with anger for here was I putting them first. I thought no this can’t work. I wasn’t sure what to do for I knew our situation wasn’t normal and all were dependent on my support. I phoned a friend and said I didn’t know what to do. She lived by the sea. She said you are welcome to come here if you want. I didn’t know what I was doing but decided to pack a bag and put it in the car and await her return as I had the daughter with me. The mother returned and was hostile on entering the street door. So I calmly said good bye. She shouted at me saying she hadn’t finished her plans for the day but told me yes go! I drove to the sea walked the beach and breathed.

My sister had a flat there too so I called her and she agreed I could stay there for a break. My phone was on but I received nothing until the next day, whilst on the beach I got a text from her saying she didn’t know what to say, couldn’t think nor knew what day it was. I tried to call back but no connection so I drove back to London to try and resolve. When I arrived she looked at me with hate so I went in the kitchen and started washing up. I then tried to talk with her. She said she couldn’t get past me saying weeks prior ‘I didn’t want anyone.’ I suggested it may be programming triggered for I had apologised and she knew it wasn’t true but she couldn’t get past it. She agreed and said she would try and deprogram it out and to go back to Brighton then come and collect them all the next day. So Of I went.
The following day it was raining so I thought no I won’t go home as they were only coming for the day. But then she called and said stop crying she had packed cloths and to ask my sister if we could have the flat for a few days. Then we could try to work things out and be away from home and neighbours; whom were triggering her in different ways each day. So I drove and collected them all as my sister agreed.

At first it was odd, for the children were behaving like they had no respect for me, they were behaving different like they didn’t have to take any notice of what I said and now could do as they liked. I observed this but wanted peace, so accepted to watch and learn.  We all got along fine most days, only a few conflicts occurred; where she would misunderstand/read what I was saying wrongly. She said she didn’t mean to sound so harsh but somehow when she spoke that’s how it came out and she was trying to remember to make sure she spoke in softer tones. It was like the ‘nasty’ alter was sabotaging without her wishes. 

She expressed how she was struggling with what was coming up and asked that I paint the bed room on our return, to try to change things in some way. I agreed and made sure she liked the colour paint. With my new album I had bought by Lauren Hill; explaining her mind control I merrily painted the room. On finishing she said no I don’t like it, too dark. 

Due to have the short previous time to reflect I decided id conflict arose again I would return to Brighton. The next day it did so off I went again. I spent a few days away then returned neither of us was sure as to how to resolve the conflict. 

I was burnt out, unable to concentrate, brain overload. We tried to get along but the nasty alter didn’t want that, She had the children out with her most days and so I was alone or I had just one of the children with me. I had cured my eye diseases but doctors said I had an unstable thyroid gland and yes I did have endless energy and was losing weight. She had always watched DVDs with me which we found related to different aspect of mind control. This had been something I studied to learn and understand more but they were becoming harder for me to watch adding to more brain overload whilst under this stress. One day she asked do you want to get some DVDs. I said ‘No! I know enough’. She looked shocked and taken back and said ‘but you don’t know everything!’ Her voice sounded fearful of the possibility. I said ‘well I know enough.’ She went downstairs, then about an hour later she came back and said ‘When I’m back singing again I am not saying nothing about mind control you are to do the talking.’ I said ‘ok’. But found it odd that she expressed this like it was really important that I know. She then left the room. 

She seemed to be quietly crying a lot, but if I asked about it she would say no she was fine. 

One day she expressed in the car how I should never have put on face book that I was bored, for I knew how ruthless the handler we both knew was. The truth is I never did write this only expressed it to her in the house. But I had learnt not to argue with her, we were lucky to be driving together in the car as a family. Now on reflection all those little odd comments add up to some hidden agenda I believe; like she had already been accessed and maybe even was being ordered to get rid of me somehow. I recall another time when she came back to her normal self when I was crying about my eyes and she said ‘Why are you so strong? ‘and her tone was like I puzzled her in that I should leave her and I didn’t I just kept going. Like she was being made to push me but I wouldn’t go, of course in a normal relationship I would of but this wasn’t normal.
She also was no longer sharing with me much of what she was deprogramming, before she would discuss any issue that arose to find ways to deal with. 


Her public image regarding her singing was very hidden by the powers that be, this was due to her refusing to sell her soul ; every year prior to living with me, on her birthday she was asked and refused, but this was in another alter, most likely an alter that was present when performing. But at the end of 2009 one of her music videos that she made was uploaded, then a live Top of the Pops performance of the same song. The live performance is very telling for it is clear she is not in the alter I knew as a performer. During these conflicting times she said to me “I’ve seen the ‘Top of the Pops’ video and I don’t want to discuss it.


 In looking at it I can see why; for the alter looks very much like a ‘satanic’ alter. I feel many would be quick to say she must of known but I 100% believe she didn’t know she had another alter for she didn’t even know she had alters, she just knew she enjoyed her day at the BBC. She recalls phoning her mum to tell her who was in St Lucia at the time. And was upset when her response was that it was 6am in the morning their and she had woken her.  It must of been co-conscious alter; although her front alter is no co-conscious the other one is there. I talk of selling of souls for the music industry because after 2 world tours with the song she recorded another hit song but never toured it.



Yet the lyrical content was so much about selling oneself for abuse that people would very likely believe she did.
Regarding this song I did ask her previously upon realising what the song was about why she sang such a song?She said she hadn’t really thought about the lyrics and in truth nor had I or probably most people as they sing along to it. 





But this is not how she normally operates, for she is a perfectionist, therefore analysis  songs to gain the emotional understanding.
I do believe she didn’t analyse the song in her normal (front alter) self; for else she would be aware. Therefore it seems another alter is present (co -conscious) when she performs, but she is unaware of it yet it is visible to those whom have eyes to see. This is a very complex matter deserving its own blog for there are many aspects involved.




My knowledge of Crack –cocaine addiction is vast. I really enjoyed working with this client group, but this could no longer be. I had been working with an old client up until about March 2010 but once my eyesight went double I could no longer drive to meet the client.
I had previously attempted to write a book for the users in 1998 but upon taking this case in 1999 I learnt that there was another type of user I didn’t fully understand; which I went on to learn were Mind Controlled users. Now with enough insight I was working on finishing the book but needed to find a way of publishing. 

The normal route would be to approach either government agencies or publishers but I previously I had identified 6 types of users but now was aware of 7 and mind control was not talked about publically in 2010. Therefore I felt strongly that the Government would want to edit the information I gave on Mind Control slaves. I believed big named publishers would be scared to touch it too.
I asked the children what they thought I should do. I told them I can either give the public 90% of info in the book and sell loads and Government would take it and big named publishers or give 100 % but maybe only one person would read it; what did they think I should do. 

The boy instantly said 100%; the girl asked more questions on the variables but concluded give 100%.
I felt very much a block around the publishing and wrote on my face book wall at the time, 11 May 2010,’Running on blind faith looking for publishers, not easy got blocks need to submerge my head underwater ‘. I had a bath and saw walls in the way and knew I had to smash them down.

There is still more to follow but I need to break the next part down into days, only 19 days left to write on.